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I used to think someone who is a prude was short for prudent. It turns out that the words are not related. Welcome to the melting pot of the English language. I was searching for ways to be a better man. Why not start with the four cardinal virtues? Courage, temperance, justice, and prudence. These are the foundation / backbone of all the other virtues. It didn’t take long for me to realize how little I possessed but also in our culture at large. The rest of the world is not under my control. We have to start with the person in the mirror.

Some great thinkers consider prudence to be the cornerstone of the cardinal virtues. It is not my intent to debate which one is more important. The question is how much I am. One definition of prudence is “practical wisdom”. Dig into your history. Are you practical? Are there many stories of wisdom? What is practical wisdom anyway? Most people you encounter on the street thinks of themselves as practical and wise. I did.

One day my wise and practical self went out with some friends and started drinking. The drinks flowed like a river. The ladies were present and I got a couple phone numbers. I’m wasted.

 

Practical and wise decision time.

Should you?

A. Drive home, save $40, and risk life, property and jail.

B. Sleep it off in my truck, save $40, and do not risk life, property or jail.

C. Call a taxi or ride sharing service, spend $40, and do not risk life, property or jail

Wise and practical me says A. You are fine and save some money. Nobody or anything will get hurt.

 

 

Practical and wise decision 2.

Should you?

A. Contact one of those girls while driving to see what they are up to.

B. Contact both of those girls while driving to see what they are up to.

C. Go home.

D. Pull over and sleep it off or call for a ride.

Genius and completely practical me decided on B. Both of those girls needed to hear from me.

If your current level of practical wisdom hasn’t taught you through pain, do not worry, it comes. While mid text, I hit the curb on the passenger side at about 55 mph. I’m fortunate that I was able to maintain any control while coming to a stop. I get out and both passenger tires and rims are in pieces.

 

 

Practical and wise decision 3.

Should you?

A. Abandon the vehicle in the middle of the road, risk others’ lives and property to avoid a DUI.

B. Drive a hundred yards to a parking lot.

C. Stay on road and risk a DUI.

Please note there are no wise choices, only practical.

B it is. I get to the parking lot of a local hospital. I have one spare.

 

 

Practical and wise decision 4

Should you?

A. Leave the vehicle to get towed, risk no more life and property except a tow charge and a taxi charge.

B. Change the one tire and drive on 1 flat with shattered rim, risk life and property again and jail.

C. Set the truck on fire, leave the scene, and call it in as stolen in the morning. Final property loss and possible jail for fraud.

B again for the win! See how wise I was?

Nobody got hurt that night by the grace of God.

 

 

Practical and wise decision 5

Should you?

A. Quit drinking.

B. Drink but not drive.

C. Drink and drive again.

The answer was C. I could make all kinds of excuses and claim applied wisdom in my life.

There is reasoning taking place. The choices are a reflection of the current value system. What values are on display?

I look at my history and see lots of practical but not so wise. So prudence is lacking. There is many examples of foolishness. What is true prudence anyway? How can you be less of a fool and more like the wise? How do you apply it?

Your experiences may be more or less extreme. The key is it applies to all areas. Applied wisdom will improve health, money, relationships, and spiritual life. Which area of your life shows the lack?

Prudence is the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason.¹

“intelligence; discretion, foresight; practical wisdom to see what is suitable or profitable;” also one of the four cardinal virtues, “wisdom to see what is virtuous;” from Old French prudence (13c.) and directly from Latin prudentia “a foreseeing, foresight, sagacity, practical judgment,” contraction of providentia “foresight” ; ²

Let’s start with practical. This is not theory but practice which is an action. Practice is repetition over time which equates to experience. Your 13 year old child doesn’t have the life experience. Should a 13 year old child run a country or even a household? If you ask your child, they generally think you are an idiot and things would be better if done their way.

There is also the 50 year old that is still practicing the same error they had when they were 13. This is the individual who practices wrong and never corrects their error. Where is the wisdom in that? Therein lies the issue. Wisdom must be present as opposed to foolishness. You can get wisdom if you learn the lessons from your foolishness. Therein lies the paradoxical beauty. Remember when you were 13 and you thought your parents were idiots? Then you got older and from experience you learn that you were a fool at that age. You gain knowledge in specific categories and their consequences. Then you adapt that knowledge to new or novel situations. Take the general knowledge in one category and apply it to a particular instance. One of wisdom’s ingredients is time. It is not instant. It increases over time. Time does not need wisdom but wisdom needs time. It is not guaranteed. You must learn the lessons of the past, adapt and project them into the future. Consider its benefits but also its costs and consequences. This is a key issue that separates humans from other animals. They live instinctual from moment to moment. The antelope still hasn’t grown or built armor, or walls to keep safe from lions. If you remove reason from humanity, we will live moment to moment like the instinct driven animal. Live for the day; tomorrow be damned. You think about your next physical desire and attempt to fulfill it. You distort need and want while only considering the short term. It is usually only in consideration of the self and not how it affects others. What if you cheat, how will it affect the ones you tell that you love? What if you lie to take the easy way out? It removes present discomfort, but when it comes out, and it usually does, you get caught. You betrayed the one you claim to love. What if you binge on food, drink, or chemicals for days, then weeks that lead to years?

If you are practical and wise from many years of experience, and you aim towards evil, you are not prudent. You are cunning or crafty. A key ingredient is to aim towards an objective moral good. Practiced repetition, lessons learned, and lessons applied to deceive someone, is not virtue.

“But I don’t scam people! I don’t lie to my loved ones!” Fantastic. Does your resume display wisdom or lack in each department? Mental, financial, social, physical, or spiritual? To earn the badge of prudent, it must be pervasive. This is not perfection but a consistent application in all areas of your life. What areas do you lack in? What needs work? You may already know the answer. If you are unsure, ask God for clarity and prepare for the answer. This method usually only works if you are actually seeking the truth.

Some view prudence as caution. The terms are related. Prudence is the mean between extremes of caution – too little and too much. Impulsiveness is too little. Overcautious is too much.

Prudence is the pervasive trait of practical wisdom to achieve a moral good over time.

Reflect on your love life. Do you exhibit it in your choices of mate or conduct? Do you learn the lessons from your previous negative choices so you don’t repeat? Or do you keep repeating and making excuses? If you are repeating, you may need to surround yourself with wise or wiser council. People who make poor choices are rarely surrounded by wise people.

How about finance? Do you spend more than you earn? If you do invest, is it impulsive or with the right balance of risk and reward in mind? Find good financial counselors. I recommend any of Dave Ramsey’s books. (I don’t get paid for this recommendation although it would be sweet if I did.)

Look at your family. Do you strike the right balance of virtue towards them? Is your children above your spouse? Is your business above all? Should you say everything that comes to mind because you feel like it?

Your coworkers…Should you repeat that information about someone? What is the better attitude to have towards them or your task?

What about your spiritual life? Do you even have one? If so, what are your actions? Are you overcautious with little action? Or are they impulsive before you are ready?

What would your history look like if it had been more prudent? What will your future look like if you apply that trait? What in your present life can you change?

 

1. Merriam Webster. (2025). prudence. In The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prudence)

2. https://www.etymonline.com/word/prudence

There is a song by Stone Temple Pilots called “Unglued”. The intro says, “Moderation is masturbation…”. The song’s summary is that pleasure is the answer. If you give someone the choice between pain or pleasure, pleasure is the reigning champion. The lead singer, Scott Weiland, lived out this pursuit in rock star fashion and met an early death due to drug overdose. You can chase the dragon but you will catch it.

Is it that important? You can list many examples who have no limits in their pursuit of pleasure, from the billionaire in the mansion to the drug addict on the street corner. Think about the opposite end of the spectrum where they deny every joy that they can think of. Buddha did this at one time. Some monks do it. Are you one of those types?

We are all somewhere on that scale of desire from lack to excess . There are an overwhelming majority of people who don’t exhibit self control and their lives are in chaos. The argument is not in whether you should or shouldn’t. The argument is internal and requires a herculean effort for most people. There are those who are conscientious, focus their attention on a task, and do without instant gratification. Even these freaks of nature (jealousy speaking here), tend to lack in at least some department. The battle is versus the self. Can you deny a specific pleasure or sacrifice to achieve a goal?

The desire for control over inner and outer circumstances is near universal. Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to control themselves? Many want to eat less junk food, spend less, drink less alcohol, do less drugs, be less lazy, watch less porn, work less, scroll less on the phone, or stop cheating. There are some who cannot control themselves because they lack an internal center. The consequence is they try to control another. You can try, but you can’t. They can decide not to comply at any point. The person in the mirror is the only one you can control. But can you? Do your desires and impulses rule you or do you rule your desires and impulses?

Epictetus says “No man is free who is not master of himself.” I first interpreted that to mean that you are not free if you are not your own boss. Another interpretation is “no person is free who does not exhibit self control.” Are you a slave to your passions? Are you ruler over your desires? Are you master of yourself?

You can exercise restraint. Imagine gaining some control over your body, finances, or personal conduct in relationships. One small change in your diet at a time. One less shopping trip. One less drink. One less fix. One less nap on the couch. One less porn video. One less hour of overtime. One less endless scroll on the phone. Completely cut contact with a forbidden partner. Do it.

There are different levels of self control from one extreme to the other. There is the absolute pursuit of pleasure, hedonism and the complete denial of pleasure, asceticism. There are two terms that are synonyms for some self control – continence and temperance. Both of these words are no longer common usage. They are the middle between extremes.

Continence is self restraint, especially concerning sexual passion. The implication is that it is not as virtuous as temperance. There is physical self restraint but an internal battle of reason versus desire. There is a division in the mind and body.

Temperance is one of the cardinal virtues. The definitions for temperance used are:

1. moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc.

2. habitual moderation in the indulgence of a natural appetite or passion.

It is a higher virtue as there is physical self restraint with no internal battle of reason over desire. You integrate mind and body. It is habit, self mastery.

When is the last time someone said you are continent or incontinent, temperate or intemperate? I prefer the term self control. If you are practicing self control, whether there is an internal battle or not, you are on a good path.

There is another extreme where you deny desires completely. Do you believe all pleasure is bad or evil? There are few who practice this but it does not lead to life either. Self induced suffering does not equal goodness.

Good desire versus bad desire.

Why moderate what you desire? Life or death. True or false. The pleasure seeker looks for the endless dopamine hit. Social media has mastered it. How much life has endless scrolling on a phone given you? How much life do you waste? The morbid obese, porn addict, drug addict, drunk, and nympho are further extremes. These are outer expressions of an inner reality. There is no inner control. It was either broken or never learned. The error is some thought and action that is not the best. It may even be tragic. Actions stem from choices. Choices extend from the will (mind/thoughts). If your choices and actions are corrupt, your will is corrupt too in some way. You are only in control of your thoughts and actions/what steps you take or do not take and the direction. Something is in control of you – either you or another. What do you allow to control you? Who do you give power over you? Your desire becomes your master.

The key is to first recognize that the self is out of control. If it isn’t there in the first place, you will have to look outside of yourself for the training and structure. You need help from an outside source – others. There is a temptation to look for a chemical control. There is a place for this but the majority of the time you are looking for a quick, temporary fix to avoid learning the new structure and habits. For example, magic fat loss pills versus learning the new mental habits to self regulate. Change your mind.

The reason why you should change is worthless without the how. In this case, another author does it better. “Atomic Habits”, by James Clear, focuses on how to change your identity through new habits.

Atomic Habits Summary

*Disclaimer – As of this writing, I don’t receive any money for this recommendation. It is a tool to apply to self control.

If you want to take it many steps further, ask God, big G not little g, to make it clear. Ask where you are in error.

Changes and answers are rarely instantaneous. It is a process. You may fail at first but fail forward. Get up again and again. Persevere. Don’t quit. Track your progress. Each step is moving you towards a higher standard.

 

Random House. (1947). continence. In The American College Dictionary (Text, p. 262).
Random House. (1947). temperance. In The American College Dictionary (Text, p. 1246).

 

One of the biggest questions you can ask of yourself or others is “Who am I?” The question may be too much at first. You may not trust your own or others answers. What if you broke it down into one small part at a time? What if you focused on an almost universal value? Courage. What person or group values cowardice? We associate courage with the hero and cowardice with the sniveling one who runs away. Is all courage good or is some evil? Is all cowardice evil or is some good? If some guy walks into a school and starts shooting little kids, he is a coward that harms the innocent. The kids are of no threat to him but he knows the police are coming at some point and will kill him if they can’t stop him. Let’s assume you agree that he has courage to do evil. Most people lack the evil courage to shoot school children. They have fear of doing that particular evil. They are cowards when it comes to committing those acts. There is also the police officer or good samaritan that confronts an active shooter . Good courage versus evil courage.

In the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, George is a man who has made many courageous sacrifices. This resulted in continuous challenges and further personal losses. His little brother rides a snow shovel down a snowy hill onto an iced over pond and fell through the ice. George jumped into the icy water to save his little brother and lost part of his hearing in the process. His father ran a bank that gave the people an alternative to a greedy competitor. George’s father died so he set aside his ambition to leave the small town behind and saved the business. There was a run on the bank so he and his new bride gave up their money for their honeymoon and dreams of seeing the world. There were people around bringing this man down on purpose and by accident. He was getting worn down and he contemplated ending his life.

A few angels from heaven are witnessing this and decide to intervene.

What is the problem?

“Is he sick?” – Clarence Oddbody, AS2 (angel second class)

“No, worse. He’s discouraged.” – Franklin

If you haven’t seen the film, it is fantastic so I won’t tell you how it ends. Discouragement is not cowardice. It is a state that can lead to it. It is between. Here is a man who has exhibited courage in so many exceptional ways.

Looking back at your life, there are some examples of courage and cowardice. Single small events don’t define your character. Character becomes more defined with each definitive action. You understand the importance of courage in the face of fear. You understand the mindset, but if there is a measurement of your actions, do you cower or stand?

Is there any reason you can’t be of good courage today?

Cowardice is the lack of courage to face danger, difficulty, or opposition. Once you look at all the things you must overcome, you want to crawl back to comfort. Numb yourself with distraction as it starts to overwhelm you. The majority of the time it isn’t people who you cower from. It is from all the things you know you need to do, or want, but it is too much. It is better to stay put and leave that for another day. You don’t want any more pain from failure. You are a regular person and don’t want to mess with all that crap. Leave you alone. But are you left alone? No. Negatives surround you that you didn’t cause. Okay, you caused some of them and don’t currently have the abilities, skills, or power to overcome them. You hate it. It hurts. Your body is weak; everything breaks. Mentally, you aren’t as sharp as you used to be. All the negatives about yourself come flooding to the surface. Stinking thinking. Some or all is true. Is this better than facing the problem? Is this who you want to be?

Courage is the quality of mind that enables one to encounter difficulties and danger with firmness or without fear. It starts in the will. Do you value courage or cowardice while considering the good? Are you courageous or fearful towards the good? Is it part of your character? What does that look like? You have some courage. What areas do you currently show good courage and where do you lack? Where are you vulnerable or exposed? How do you get it? What do you do? How do you become courageous on the inside and out?

You don’t want to go back or repeat the bad. What is the next action you need to take? Start with it in mind. Visualize it. Can you see it? You know what it is. Say it out loud. Say what it is. Words are the beginning and need action. Write it down. “________ is what I’m going to face.”

It will most likely be a process. It is rarely “one and done”. Process implies time coupled with self discipline. How many times do you have to show courage before it yields success? Chris Voss says it takes 63 repetitions to make a new neural pathway for a skill. That doesn’t mean expert. That is laying the initial path.

What happens if you face your fear? You may succeed or fail at achieving the outcome you want but you succeed in showing courage.

What happens if you give in to the fear? You will not achieve the outcome and you succeed in showing cowardice. This is not what you want or need.

The largest opponent may be yourself. Are you the coward in your own story? Many may have caused you pain. That is a tragedy. It seems there is a greater tragedy that usually follows. You pay the pain forward. You hurt another, intentional or not, but evil is what you have done. The victim becomes the victimizer. Why would you do that? You failed. Knowing your failing, can you rise above it? Can you not be that person anymore? Can you stand for something higher? Failure is a judgment. You don’t want to feel that pain again or cause other’s pain. You can reflect on how you failed and then make a courageous act to try again in a better fashion. It enables you to live and die with a fundamental virtue.

Random House. (1947). courage. In The American College Dictionary (Text, p. 278).

Random House. (1947). cowardice. In The American College Dictionary (Text, p. 280).

There is a young couple across the street who had a baby boy not too long ago. The father is playing with his son and it brings back memories of when I first had my children. Welcome to fatherhood. Those years tick by so fast and you wonder at the experience of it all and do some reflection. There is also the second guess of, “What did I do right? How could I have done better?”

The young man continued playing with the toddler and I could not help but notice his attention and care. He guides him away from the pond, a current danger to the child, but lets him run free within certain limits. The boy squeals with glee as he scampers and outpaces his father’s steps in a new direction. His little legs cannot go as fast as he likes and he takes a small tumble. A small squeal of frustration escapes his lips with little harm done. The father looks on and does not rush to rescue him but lets him pick himself up and begins to scamper again. His dad swoops in from behind to grab his arms and start the moon-style walking that kids love so much.

There is much more than physical play. There is indirect teaching of perceptions and concepts to the boy. The father is making an explicit choice to protect, teach, and play. The mother does it too, which makes for a very fortunate son. I recognize the sheer perfection of the moment – father and son revelry and guidance.

The logical side of me sees two world view possibilities. Yes, the father is the material and biological parent of the child. One worldview sees cold nature and its so-said deterministic path. The father and child are in a biological and chemical reaction. There is no choice or will other than random selection. There is no real joy or even danger; it is some dopamine or other chemicals dancing around his brain. The child is another mass of cells dependent on another mass of cells, so “danger” or “joy” is meaningless. There is no spiritual father who guides. There are only physical mechanisms.

Instead of the bio-electric and chemical soup, there is another version of a father with a dual nature of body and soul. The body is only the mechanism to project the soul or a container – ideas manifested in the physical world. The immaterial and intangible parts of fatherhood are there but no less real. The most important aspects are what we cannot see and how we pass on those things whether they are of true value or vice. What soul and spirit do we pass on?

Fatherhood of our souls

The Bible uses the image of God the Father and I could not help but imagine Him doing the same thing with our souls. When they are young, He sets more protective limits, but remains close even though we do our best to scamper away. He will let us stumble and fall. Like children, we do not like the restrictions placed on us and we want to do whatever we want.

While immature, the pond is a fatal danger until we learn the skills to handle the chaos of a new medium. Isn’t the soul in danger if it has no training to swim in a pond? You will drown. Your soul dies. With proper training, we can get through it but we cannot live in it. We are outside our natural element. We can draw many parallels from dangers to our soul, how we deal with them, and how we relate to the highest being. What ponds are you running towards when you cannot swim?

Who am I? Who are you? The humongous question of identity. It has garnered a lot of attention in recent years as there are new developments in answering that very question. This is a foundational truth. If you cannot even answer the internal question of who you are, then how can you answer the questions about everyone and everything else? If your foundation is faulty, the consequences extend outwards.

The definition of identity that we will be employing is – “the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another”. The law of non-contradiction states that it is impossible for a proposition to be both true and false at the same time and in the same sense. Think of the most evil person in history. Are you that person or another? You are distinctly you and not someone else. Since there are separate individuals, you and I (me?). Where do I stop and start and where do you stop and start? What is your defining boundary or distinction? What gives you your “youness”?

You and I exist.

First you refer to yourself – “I, me, my, mine”, signaling you exist in some fashion. “I think therefore I am.” – Rene Descartes. Then you are aware of or conscious of your self – “I am ___ .” This realization came much later in your development as you started off with a good old-fashioned existence. There are certain self-evident truths we base everything on. You exist. If you do not exist, then how are you reading this and thinking about it? The rest of what I am writing would be pointless as you are not reading it in the first place. The questions in your mind do not exist and all of your problems do not exist either. You are no longer you and have achieved nirvana – the state of no desire or individual consciousness. But for the rest of us who have not, we can press on.

If you exist, awesome! Welcome to the universe! Since you exist and therefore have some sort of being, let’s discover the wonderful being that is you. The overwhelming vast majority of humanity can be shown to agree by their own admission or action up to the point of the debate. Even the most non-existent philosopher who does not even believe themselves, words or thoughts exist will still eat non-existent food and go to a non-existent university (where most non-existent philosophers do non-existent work) and give out very real F’s to my truly non-existent homework. If you still are not convinced, you may be having an EXISTential crisis.

Who am I? You are substantial.

You are made of stuff. You are a substance. A substance is that which exists in itself. You do not exist in me and I do not exist in you. You are a particular individual made of substance. What is your substance? You are an individual unit – a unity or combination of parts, properties and abilities.

The physical entity that starts as us begins at the moment of conception. This is simply a statement of the beginning of our physical development. Your physical concrete substance is the thing others experience with their senses. Do they see male or female biology? Tall or short? Dad/mom bod or ripped? Do you smell clean or nice and musky like after a 3 week trek in the woods? If you are intimate enough to be touched, are you rough with old-looking skin that is tanned too much or smooth from good care? Do you sound like Morgan Freeman or Grok the cave man? The vast majority of the public at large does not taste you, with the exception of significant others and cannibals, so we will leave that sensation out. Male or female biology is fixed but the rest can change over time.

Quick summary – if you exist and have substance, you are real. You are substantial.

We are also assuming you reside in a physical universe and not some complete spiritual realm. Leftists and conservatives can overwhelmingly agree on this. Even if life’s scenario was some big illusion, it still would not change the physical aspects, such as you get hungry, stubbing your toe hurts, and these things called bosses or parents emit these strange annoying noises called speech that sound like, “Do this or that.” It is a considerably persistent reality of stuff, especially annoying stuff.

Now that we have established that you exist and have some sort of substantial physical structure, we can delve a little deeper. Are you an animal, a vegetable (plant), or a mineral? I was hoping you would not say mineral as you may have certain elements of rock in you but you are not necessarily a rock. I am pretty sure you are not broccoli. So we will go with an animal. But even among animals, we just are not quite the same again. The similarities and differences are vast and are a whole other rabbit hole and article for another day.

Who am I? You are limited.

You are limited. If we have a physical body, the outer boundary is your skin and exists with the aspect of time and location. You are not someone from 2 centuries ago or 2 centuries from now. You had a beginning at a specific time and place and your life will end with those aspects. We are not the clock, but it is a defining characteristic. As I move through time and this world, I am still me and you are still you. Your physical body changes over time but you never stop being you and I do not stop being me.

Physical animal substances by nature can only be in one place at a time. Your body cannot be in New York and Los Angeles at the same time. They can also change some properties but are still the same substance throughout. An egg that turns rotten or boiled is still an egg.

Your story is the story of you going from place to place – physically, mentally and spiritually. The legal definition of “you” ends on the expiration date of your physical body. You are the essential being on that physical ride from that beginning point in time and space to that final point in time and space. There are physical characteristics that are temporary and also those that are permanent throughout.

There are other things you cannot touch or see within you. The immaterial parts of you, such as mind, soul, or spirit. You can touch the brain but you cannot touch those. Other than the brain dead and zombies, thus far another universal, aside from those in a questionable vegetative state, is the existence of the mind. The mind contains its will, values, attitudes, beliefs, emotions, desires, and acts of knowing (using our senses or brain power – not solely the physical mechanism).

Who am I? You are not another.

As you have a tangible material body, there is also the same outside of you. Trees, rocks, animals and people are substances as well. The world outside of you is real. What we can sense and experience matters. As there are things you cannot touch within yourself, there are the same without. Can you touch another persons idea?

Who am I? Then you refer to others – “you, they, them, their” or by pointing and signaling they exist in some fashion. They think therefore they are. Then you are aware or conscious of the other – “You are ___.” Who are you? Some ask this question and do the mental gymnastics to consider its answer, whereas some don’t reflect (self-aware/ consciousness ) or want to reflect to answer what could be one of the most fundamental questions you can ask. Are you another person? Of course not. You are not them.

You and all other people are physically separate except Siamese twins who are physically conjoined. Identical twins share the same genetics and Siamese twins share the same body. Are they the same person? They are separate individuals who sometimes have the same physical nature or even physical body, but they are not the same person. A Siamese twin has a primarily physical combination but separate “who”. Although a Siamese twin may share body parts, they are not someone else or everybody.

You are not a group. You are not an aspect of a group. You are a unique individual. You are not just a race – a group, or a sex – another group. Those are just biological attributes you have. You are not a collective. But “Who am I?” is not just a physical question. At last check, we are pretty stuck in or with our bodies. You can tack on or remove parts at will but that still does not change your essence. Are you missing a piece? You are still you.
Where do others and the outside world start and stop?

It may seem like Captain Obvious has showed up, but unfortunately, there are those who deny the above and their ideas are based on those conclusions. We will continue this line of reason in another article soon.

Nobody likes a hypocrite. Do you? I absolutely cannot stand them. They say one thing and do another. There is no truth or integrity in word and action. They do not match. Hypocrite comes from the Greek word hypokrites which means “stage player” or “actor”. https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/hypocrite-meaning-origin. The word narcissist is used often these days and their victims talk about the “mask” coming off. This does not mean that those who have a mismatch in word and deed are narcissists. That is extreme. However, there are countless examples of the standard faker. Social media have it on full display. https://gobackgoforward.com/perfect-social-media-lives-err-lies/ The list is exhaustive of those who do it on a regular basis. How can they go on living like that with little to no remorse and not consider the damage they cause? And they usually love themselves to add insult to injury. Therefore, they like their hypocritical selves at least enough to put themselves in front of or above you. To be fair, most people do put themselves first, so why should this be any different? Where is their sense of self-awareness? Jesus, whether you believe in him as a fictional character, wise prophet, or God himself, gave a scathing condemnation of these types in Matthew 7:5. It is not hard to find those types anywhere – church, business, politics, and among those closest to us. He talks about removing the log, or beam, out of our own eye before we start to worry about the speck causing distorted vision in the other’s eye.

Am I a hypocrite?

Am I one? Maybe I like hypocrites. Maybe I cannot stand myself. Maybe I say one thing and do another. Come to think of it, there is a long list of instances where truth or integrity of word and action was lacking. The list is exhaustive of those I have done that to. How can I go on living like that with little to no remorse and not consider the damage I cause? What masks am I wearing? Am I that selfish to put myself in front of or above others? I guess this is an inward search and deep appraisal of the hidden, darker elements of myself. Find that wounded child, buried skeleton, or inner demon and drag it into the light for exposure to heal and grow, put to rest, or remove. I may need some help because if I could have done it by now, I probably would have. Maybe I denied it as it was too painful to face or expose. Maybe I have an entire tree in my eye. Either way, it is coming out and will be dealt with.

Hypocrite no more

When your vision has been distorted for so long, it is like leaving the movie theater and walking out into the blinding light. It hurts your eyes at first, but you are no longer fumbling around in the dark. You squint, shield your eyes, and they water, but your vision slowly clears. Details and definitions of things are not shrouded in darkness anymore. You do not have to be like the actors on the screen who pretend to be something they are not. You can be true from the thoughts in your mind to the words that you speak and the choices you make. Maybe your partner has something in their eye, but maybe it does not bear mentioning until your vision clears. Then maybe you can help them to see. Then maybe neither of us will be a hypocrite in that regard. The world needs more true people and it would be great to be counted as one of them.